Memoir from the Invisible Vampire
By
Steve Binswanger
What I Believe
I am the courageous one. I will take a stand against them, a stand that will no doubt last until my death. I will tell you all about the misconceptions. I will let you in on a secret the US government and no one else except us know about. I will take a stand against the unfair ways that we are treated. No one will follow me, I know for sure, but I will take a stand. So call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag kicking and screaming into hell with me.
The Beginnings of Me and My Problem
When I was born I was completely normal raised by Mary and Fred Pumpernickel. They were really nice to me even though I was not their natural born son. I later found out that I was adopted. As a grew and got older I was a normal five year old boy. I had lots of friends. As I grew I found a different group of friends to hang out with, they were known as the "Junkies." None of them ever did any drugs or anything it was just the way they came off. It seemed at first they did not care about anything. When I got to know them they were all very nice actually except for Shawn Foley. He never was even sort of nice to anyone, not the teachers, not the kids and definitely not me. As I turned 13 I started to feel withdrawn from everything. I felt different, and the weirdest thing was Shawn started to be my friend. I never knew what the hell was going on. My life was a mess. Then it all fit together in a dream I had. It was about a movie I just saw Vampire In Brooklyn. It made me think maybe Shawn was... different like I was. I never thought I was a actual Vampire but it would have been cool. Or so I thought.
The day that changed my life forever was here. It was a normal day on Wednesday, April 23, 1977. It was the day that I asked Shawn if he felt same as I did. "Come see me at my house tonight," he mumbled something like now that you've matured but I couldn't really hear him, "Will you be there?"
"Sure," I was so excited just because I had to wait to find out the answer, it was like final jeopardy.
That night I went to his house and he told me what I was. He told me I was his son and I was a vampire just like him. At first I thought he was B.S.ing me but then he showed me pictures of my birth and my young childhood, and I believed him. He told me that night he knew the Pumpernickelís before I was born and it was not a quencadance they adopted me. I remember asking if the Pumpernickelís knew what I was and he told me "They now because they are us. They are a part of the brujah clan like me and your mom, but they have the most humanity in them than any other vampire I have ever seen so we gave them you to keep until now. Now get sleep a maturing vampire needs his rest."
That night I could not sleep at all, the thought of me being special being different brought me to life. I didn't go to bed all night I could not stop thinking about it.
In the morning I went down to my new kitchen and saw my mom. If you could only comprehend what this felt like it was the greatest sensation in the world. No mere mortal knows how this feels. I remember saying hello, mom... sort of sad that we had to meet like this and not in a loving way.
"Son sit with me, I need to tell you about the clans." I sat near her. "The clans are the first thing a young vampire learns. First is the brujah, the clan me and your father and eventually you are and will be a part of. Our nickname is rabble. We are completely composed of rebels of one kind or another. We are searching for the ultimate expression for are individuality. We are the punks and outcasts. We are very stubborn and we know it and love it. We are the most uncontrollable of the kindred. We are devoted to our cause, whatever it may be and some of us tend to be blind to the truth. We live wherever we choose we kill people whom we choose. Your father and I chose this clan because at the time it appealed to us as it still does."
"The next clan is gargles. They are wanderers, rarely will they stay in one spot for a long amount of time. They differ greatly all the rest of the kindred. They have no specific leader, they are unconcerned with such things. The Gargles features are very animalistic and they can change into animals at their pleasure. Their nickname is outlanders. When they turn into animals it is, what they call a frenzy. Every time they frenzy they become increasingly animal-like until they change forever."
"The next group is the group that your father and I would never be. They are known as the malkavians or kooks. They are... sort of... insane. Your father and I would never be one and resent everyone who is. They believe that locked inside insanity is sanity. They also believe with madness comes wisdom and with wisdom comes power. They are the true creatures of chaos. They have been known to be pranksters and clowns. They are very picky about who they embrace. They only take people that have lost their mind or so near death that being undead would not mater. There quote that they all live by is this 'Madness you say! Do you fear me? Are you afraid of what I might do, or what I might say? What a fascinating reaction. Don't you find it somewhat encumbering?' They are all insane and have no business being the part of the kindred but I as a mother needs to tell her sun about every clan, even if they are kooks."
"The next group is Nosferatu or sewer rats. They are the least human appearing of all the clans. They were cursed by Caine, our lord, because they were unloyal to him and went against his word. No one knows a lot about these people because most of them are so cut off from the world, it's sick."
"The toreador or degenerates is another clan. People believe they are empty- headed whelps who should rot in with everyone else and they don't deserve to be a part of the kindred. They always have a woman leader who is always very beautiful and they are always amazing at seduction. They live in luxury condos or where ever is in style. They can't understand it is not life they live but it is everlasting death once they come to comprehend that their party is doomed."
"Tremere or warlocks is the next party. They are very, very organized. Others, however think of them as arcane and untrustworthy. They are second in intellectual power only behind the malkavians. They have the oddest background of any other of the kindred. They claim at one time they were wizards who voluntarily gave up there 'art' for the powers of the eternal life as a vampire. They are shady charters always up to something. They traditionally wear black and some even wear cloaks with a arcane symbol sewed on to it."
"Ventures are old-fashioned. They believe in good taste above everything else. They are also known as the blue bloods. They have their homes usually in mansions, or other human dwellings. They can be described as gangsters. Al Capone was a venture, so was the bird man at alcatraz. They are the hardest for other vampires to find because of their human-like ways of life."
"Now you know about all the clans. You will have to read the Book of Nod," She handed me this huge book, "it's our bible in there you will learn about Caine and everything else that you will need to know. You better start reading it because you have to be done by tomorrow."
"Why?" asked.
"Tomorrow you will choose what clan you will be a part of. If you are not done by 12:00 PM we will be forced to kill you cause it shows a lack of faith to Caine.
So I read. I remember that book. It was so intellectual that I had trouble reading it. I remember lines from it like, in the beginning there was only Caine. But the most intriguing line of the whole book was: For the Jyhad continues still. What was this mysterious Jyhad? I read through the whole thing and it was 10:45 PM so I still had some time so I slept being a vampire was tough work.
I woke up at 11:45 and I quickly ran downstairs. I was afraid that they left without me and that I would be killed but I was there well before twelve. But then I saw them. My parents!? They were dressed in a punk-like style, they had black leather jackets on and they both had a RCP button on them.
"Come with us son," my father blurted. I was completely scared. I had no clue of what this indictment was all about. "Come son, let us go."
"O.K." was all I managed to say. We got into a car and dad told me, "we are going to your indictment into a clan of your choice, this will be your first true vampire test because some can't take the pressure of talking in front of a horde of vampires."
"What happens to the frightened ones?" I asked.
"Well, we have to kill them. Ah here we are, good luck." I got out of the car scared completely out of my mind. This was a life or death situation, I mean my god. "Son!" Dad cried from behind, "You have to go in here," he pointed to a small hut, "go in here." So I went. They made me stay in that hut for a thirteen hour period. I later learned that was the first test and I passed. Then they brought me out. They took me in front of at least 16,000 vampires screaming and yelling.
"Now," a loud booming voice said, "we have another applicant. What would you like to be named my son?"
"Locutos, will be my name." I picked Locutos because it was captain Picard's borg name on star trek.
"Now," that loud voice boomed again, "I will ask you questions from the Book of Nod. In the begging their was only who?"
"Caine," I answered. I was surprised I could even say anything in front of that crowed but the idea of death kind of made me want to answer the questions.
"Correct, Locutos. Now the last question is what is the last line in that same book." That loud booming voice was almost defining.
"The answer is," I paused out of fear, "for the Jyhad continues still."
"Correct again Locutos. Now you will be a vampire but first tell me what clan you have chosen."
I could see my parents in the back smiling and laughing. "I would like to be in the..." I paused, scared that I might screw up, "Brujah clan. I would like to follow my father and mothers footsteps."
"Ah," the loud voice boomed, "very good. Now the pray they you will soon learn, Onmniom Crommaboom Ah lah ach mach hine Caine," I paused gripped me as this pray had a very interesting melody, "Lac me fine lom Li bine. Thank you. Locutos meet your parents down in the palisdetourium."
The days of my "training" passed like cars on a highway. I learned how to take humans blood, a secret vampires would never let out. I learned about the origin of vampires. I learned even more about Caine. But all of that was secondary to the entry. The entry was the day I would be inducted to the elite group of socially superior and much more intelligent race. The date came. It was Monday, May 05. I had been thinking and fantasizing about how it would feel and what it was like. On May 05 my dad alone took me to the same spot where I met Hackeing one of the head vampires. He was and is extremely important because he was the first vampire to help the piece between the clans. He said, "Ah young Locutos you are looking much stronger. You'll make a very very good vampire. Come with me." He took me to a empty room, where he told me to sit and that my initiation would begin shortly. I waited about five minutes and then Hackeing said "O.K. I am ready. Lets go!" He said that with enthusiasm.
Hackeing took a long nail that he had and cut his thumb till it started to bleed. "Open your mouth," he said in a growl. I did as he said and stuck out my toung. He took his bloody finger and dropped blood on my toung. "Swallow," he said with a strange delight. I did. I swallowed his blood. At first my vision went blurry to clear to blurry. My mouth felt like it was being torn apart by hate and greed. I fell back and my eyes closed. I thought he had killed me. I knew he had killed me. I leaned up and saw his face. He had a job well done smile. I looked around and I felt a awful pain in my stomach. I kind of felt very queasy. Hackeing told me, "You are now in the elite group of social and a more intelligent 'ethnic group'."
* * *
The War Times
The days of war started. It was vampires vs. werewolves. The on going battle was going to add another page to the book of death. Seance the begging of time werewolves and vampires have been feuding. For awhile the vampires were winning the battle then in the tenth century the werewolves began to follow a very stern and powerful leader. His name was Van Glower. Van Glower was very mean to the other vampires, that is why they followed him. Don't ask me why, those werewolves are a screwy bunch. Von Glower is still alive today and he is leading his troops against the vampires and he just attacked the heart of are vampire origins, Transylvania. If someone could just kill that jerk the vampires would have a easy time of over throwing the werewolves and having a monopoly on the undead. I say we would have a monopoly on the undead because if Von Glower dies the werewolves will not have a leader. You see, werewolves have never actually made clans the just attack with other werewolves. They also do not have the heightened intelligence that we have, they have a lowered intelligence. They really are stupid screw ups and I can't wait until us vampires show them the true strength of the underworld.
I remember my father was younger looking than I was during the war times. That was probably why Hackeing chose me to lead a attack. We would have people from all clans. Our job was to burn the hell out of that bastard Von Glower, and by doing that destroy the werewolves all together. I came alive, well sort of the live, just at the chance to see and attack Von Glower. I had been taught to hate him and if I ever saw him kill and burn him so he rots in hell.
We were the Delta Gamma Alpha Beta, they named us that because humans use phrases like that one. Hackeing knew Von Glower would be holding a "Pep rally" sometime in the near future and us, the Delta Gamma Alpha Beta was suppose to raid it. We would have plenty well trained Gargles so they could change to wolves and we could fake out those dumb freaks. Hackeing told me I'd be the leader of the group. My code name would be Jofa.
Hackeing went to the rondaviu point to talk to the leak. He found out that the secret Von Glower meeting would be in Munich, Germany. The thought almost frightened me. Everyone knew Munich was the werewolf capital of the known universe. It was going to be tough but I knew I could do it.
I had a conversation on the next day with Hackeing. "How are we going to do it, sir?" I inquired.
"You will have to use your Gargles wisely, and attack when you and Von Glower are alone."
"How am I going to get alone with Von Glower?" He stared at me and gave me a envelope.
"I will be getting more of those, adieu." I opened the envelope and looked inside. I saw the floor plans for the "Gathering." They were incredible. I did not know even the head werewolf was this smart. It still did not compare to vampire smarts, but still I give him credit, even if he is a bastard. I could not wait to kill him, I was gitty at the idea. It would soon be time.
I later found out that Hackeing had been set up. He had been killed in werewolf fashion. They tore him to bits and then eat his heart, in a splash of blood like a swimming pool. As you can understand I was pretty Fing mad. It just pissed the hell out of me that my idol, mentor and friend was killed by my arch nemesis, the werewolves. After his prier I went to his secretary, Ochincu Ocha, that meant "White devil." I asked her who Hackeing had met to find out the information he gave me and the information he was trying to get. She told me he went and was going to see Bakatu a respected vampire spy who could change to a wolf to spy on werewolves.
"Can you give me a copy of the names that were going to accompany me to Munich?" I asked.
"Sure, here you go." She handed me another envelope. That I opened and I read all the names. Some of the people I knew, some I didn't. I called them all. Some were hesitant to believe it was really me and not a werewolf. But in the end all 1023 vampires came. I told them what was going on. How we were going to attack Von Glower after we had a little "chat" with Bakatu. I told them if they wanted to leave they should leave now or FOREVER hold their peace. None of the vampires left, they all want to avenge the death of Hackeing.
That night me and the Delta Gamma Alpha Beta or Delta as we named ourselves went to Bakatu's house. We broke in to his house and saw him lying on the floor... dead.
"I guess he did not do it." One of the men said.
"I would not count him out yet, that might be what they want you to think." Another man said.
"No, he did not do werewolves aren't smart enough to make him kill Hackeing and then they kill him. They are just stupid, petty undead creatures." I told my troops. "Come we attack soon." We flew to Munich on a plan. Think of the ironicness of it so many people did not know they were in the company of vampires.
Back in the vampire community some unsettling feelings went around. People were afraid of what might happen without the "peacemaker" which was what Hackeing was known as. The plan ride was completely nerve racking because we were going to invade a Von Glower paraded and I still did not know all the layout of the rally.
The plane landed with a bump, a stall and the captain saying please don't take off your seatbelt until I turn off the facen seatbelt sign. I gathered my troops. We had 189 brujahs, 611 gangrels, 50 malakavins, 150 tremers and 23 ventures, 1023 in all. If you have ever been in a airport with a big group you sort of know what this feels like. Complete madness. Especially from the malakavins. We all got ready and met at a set rondeavui point in Hablar, Munich. There we made our plan.
The Plan
Even though I had very little to go on I tried my hardest to make a plan. It would consist of the gangrels starting a little situation with who ever is guarding Von Glower's home spot. Then the malakavins getting passed the first guards and spying to see what is in store in the next level. After they do that they will report to me. I will be in a secret location where I can see all. Then using a secret call I will tell the gangrels to attack the weak spot on the next level that hopefully the malakavins can find. Werewolves always leave a weakness, like the death-star, they are dumb animals those wolfs. Then posing as Mercities, Von Glowers assistant I will sneak in to the palace and kill Von Glower. I can pose as Mercities because I can do a transgression muscle movement that allows me to change how I looked. I majored in that as a young vampire. The only problem was I had to kill Mercities, but I figure I will get the chance.
The date was set, on Thursday, May 08, 1989 we would attack. We waited patently for the date. No one complained. Vampires often complain but not now, everyone wanted to kill Von Glower.
It Goes Down
The date came, we were all ready. Everyone knew the plan by heart and we all were ready to sacrifice our lives or what ever you would call it. All we had to do is make the good luck prayer.
"I'm so happy cause to day I found my friends they are in my head. I light my candles in a daze 'cause I found god." We all said in unison.
"O.K. troops it's time to kick some ass." I told them.
We all went to our separate cars to meet at Hondirich, Munich were the rally was being held. We got there just as I planed at 1:25 AM. Perfect time because no one would see us. We prepared ourselves and waited the hours out.
The time came when it was time to strike. The crowed had assembled and we had broken up. It had begun.
I watched from my "lofty" position. and saw the gangrels transform into wolfs. They then attacked the back door guards and I must say it was very unfair. We had 611 vs. their petty 32. As you can imagine we really kicked the crap out of them.
Then I sent in the probes, better known as the malakavins. They were in looking around for five or ten minuets and then one came and told me this. "Mercities is standing by himself near the stairs we are going to trap him and bring him to you at your command sire."
"Good, bring him to me now." I ordered him.
"O.K. go with the Delta attack. Then bring him to zero and X." He ordered over the walkie talkie.
Then in about five minutes they came out to the spot, with Mercities. "Ah, hello, pleasure to make your aquatintice." I said being nice.
"The pleasure is all yours, you bastard." He screamed at me.
"My, my how aggressive you are, such a typical werewolf. Dumb, slow and blind to what is going to happen. Well let me clue you in, death is all that is going to happen to you." I could see him shrivel up with fear. I readied my teeth for the marvelous bite that would kill Mercities. "Say good bye to all of this, and say hello to oblivion."
"Never!" He screamed and he picked up a dead body near him and said, "I will change in to this werewolf and forever will I live in darkness and seclusion in his dead body." He said with seriousness in his voice.
"You don't have the guts, you freak." I dared him.
"Do I? Maybe I do, maybe I don't but you will soon find out. Unless you let me go right now."
"Hah," I laughed, "you are not in the position of dealing. I hold your life in my hands, and you will die, one way or another. Guards get this feeble man for me right now." My guards who were gangrels discussed as werewolves lunged at the bastard and with that he disagreed. Right in to the body of the werewolf he was holding. The body landed with a thud.
"Pathetic simpleton. If he injects his soul into a dead body I can still steal it. It is like living but not being capable of movement." With that I went to the attack. I ripped through jugular straight to his vocal cords and eat them. I know this sounds gross and disgusting but I had to, too be able to mimic him. "Werewolves what dumb freaks."
Then I started the mimicking Mercities. It took a little longer than I thought but I did it. "Give me the dagger." I took the dagger which was going to be the murder weapon. "Gangrels go and scout for anything I should worry about on my way to Von Glower." I said over the walkie talkies. "I'll meet you at the back door in five minuets, make it so." I started my descend to the back door. When I got there the gangrels were all ready there waiting for me. They told me some guards were walking around but other than that it would be easy. So I went in alone. I walked passed a few werewolves that said to me "High Mercities." I just looked at them and nodded. I found the room marked Von Glower and I opened the door. I took a step in and closed the door behind me.
"Von Glower, do you need anything before you go on?" I asked.
"Ah Mercities, nice to see you." Von Glower was wearing all plaids and had a grungy look to him. His hair went down just below his earlobes and it really needed a washing. "Can you get me a glass a water."
I unmimicked myself to look like myself. "Sorry sir but Mercities has been gone for awhile." With that Von Glower flew his head and stared at me.
"Oh my god, you're not Mercities!" He yelled.
"Gee you are perspective." With that I lunged at him and bit his arm and then his neck. Then I finished him off that bastard. As I burned him in his room I felt a amazing sensation of happiness. It was great I finally avenged Hackeing's death. I then mimicked back into Mercities and walked out. Over the walkie talkie I told everyone, "We did it, the bastard is dead. Meet me back at the house for the party. Let's go."
That night at the party we celebrated the vampires victory over the werewolves. At that celebration we all got drunk and woke up with the worst hangovers possible, but we still had the celebration of us defeating the jerks in our hearts.
Crazy Times
After the death of all the werewolves we conquered the underworld, and now we have complete control. But we needed a spiritual leader and someone that could try and untie the clans. The vampire leaders picked me to be Hackeing's successor. The day I found that out my first feeling was amazing. It felt like I was ascending to the stars not stopping until my wildest dreams came true. Think of it, I had everything. I got kill Von Glower a jerk who deserved to die, I got to live forever and be super intelligent, and I got to be a leader for the whole vampire race. It was a amazing life I lead. I was a god, no one could touch me. Of course I got the occasional attacking from other vampires but I just told them, "You should not threaten me because I have seen presidents die."
I had to make a critical decision in vampire life. I had to decide if we should attack the government. They all ready knew about us, but they were afraid of what the general public might do if they knew their were vampires everywhere. The date was May 19, 1997, a day that will, in humans minds burn in hell forever. That was the day we made it known we were there. We were not just a myth as most uneducated people believe. Now everyone fears us and they have every reason to. We hold lives in our hands, not just one or two peasant lives, but we could kill Bill Clinton if we wanted to. People did react in a pretty pathetic way, some people walked down the street with guns in their hands and shot anyone who might of been a vampire. The only problem with that was you can't kill a vampire with bullets, it just doesn't work. We killed everyone who knew about us, everyone no matter who they were.
We scared every human on the face of the earth, and we scared the hell out of them. But I had some troubles with the vampire public and people began thinking I was going crazy. It all started when I referred to myself as Hackeing a few times and I thought the date was June 05, 7789. But even weirder than that I have seen him, Hackeing that is, just walking around in my room. I try and talk and he says to me "Are you afraid of what I might do?" Like that he then disappears. Now it is July 24, 2006 and I am getting refereed to as a malakavin. I even joined their clan because that is who I am, but I made sure before I did that I had my parents killed so they couldn't affect my choices. No I live in a nice place called Springfield's home for the criminally insane. I can easily leave and I often do and then come back because they treat me good there. I have been going crazier and crazier. But I have found true bliss. It's true locked away in insanity is sanity.
The Secrets
Now I will let you in on everything there is to know about vampires. The people who say there is no such thing are sorely mistaken. Everything you think you know about how to see if a vampire in a vampire is incorrect, that crap was just made up by us to protect our secret. Number one we can be seen in a mirror, you humans are idiots for believing that one piece of monumental matter could stop a reflection off a piece of a mirror. Sometimes I am glad I am not a human because we are ten times more intellectual than humans. If any human was even a little smatter than the rest he'd figure out how to send brain waves to someone to give a subliminal message. Number two is the garlic thing. We actually love garlic it is our favorite meal , very appetizing. A simple source of matter is not able to repel another source of matter that is ten times bigger than it. That is almost as oblivious as super man being repelled by kryptonite. The other thing is you don't have to invite us into your home we are actually some of the best thieves. We could kill you at any time. It should be known, every single power we have over you inferior humans because than maybe you have a hope, a chance to live.
It is true we feed on the blood through the jugular a process we call exanquanation. It is also true we need that blood to live. But we can last 35 years without getting fresh blood but most of us replenish every 5 years or so. We also can be seen in mirrors.
Most people have seen the movie Count Dracula or read Bram Stoker's book, but you should of thought a little more. Bram Stoker was actually a vampire, he was a malakavin and made up a bunch of crap to through of the humans, now humans believe garlic repels us. I am the anti-Bram Stoker, his exact opposite. I am telling the truth about us.
The Truth?
"Jon, Jon Locutos?" A man called. "It is time to take your medicine."
"What?" I asked.
"Don't you remember Jon? You have Parenzia, the disease which makes you think you are someone else.?"
"That is not true I am a real vampire."
"Sure you are Jon. Sure you are." The worker rolled his eyes. "You know their is no such thing as vampires."
"Yes their are," I lashed out at him. "I am sorry. What is the date?"
"May 19, 1877."
"We only have 122 years until we attack."
"Right Jon."
Next Week
Next week I will tell you about when I was a prince married to a sleeping beauty.
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